


Sunset (hello, goodbye, hello)

by starryeyedchar



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Artificial Intelligence, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bittersweet Ending, Canon Universe, Character Death, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Keith (Voltron), Heavy Angst, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Temporary Character Death, Why Did I Write This?, kind of? for that last one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 14:08:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15559410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryeyedchar/pseuds/starryeyedchar
Summary: “Is it always sunset in here?” Keith asked, not moving his gaze from where sky met sea. He'd been in here plenty of times, and the beach always looked the same. If not for the waves that reached out towards him before slowly receding again, he'd think this place was frozen in time.But it sort of was, in a way.“I could probably change it if I wanted to,” Lance spoke beside him, and Keith closed his eyes, listening to the sound of his voice. The difference was so subtle, and most people probably wouldn't have been able to detect one at all. But Keith heard it, just barely. “Or you could. But... I don't know. I think I like this better. It's more fitting. Caught right before the end, you know?”Or the one where Lance dies, but they are able to bring him back in AI form with his saved memories the same way Alfor had once been preserved. Keith is so relieved that Lance isn't really gone for good... but then again, he's not really back, either.





	Sunset (hello, goodbye, hello)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm... very sorry. I wrote this for a prompt on my tumblr pitching the idea to me that what if Lance were to die, and he got turned into a hologram AI like Alfor was in season 1. I loved the idea, and it inspired me, so here we are. I hope you enjoy (?) it, and aren't too angry with me for writing this! Can I stress that it wasn't my idea?
> 
> This is some of the heaviest angst I've ever written, so I won't blame even the most dedicated of my supporters for not reading. But that said, it took me a while to write and I worked very hard on it so if you DO read, I encourage you to tell me your thoughts, even if they are plots to murder me. I hope you like it!

Keith stared out across the ocean, eyes trained on the horizon. On the beautiful colors scattered in the sky and reflecting across water such a light shade of blue it was almost clear.

He'd never seen this beach in person. He'd never even been to a beach, not once in his life, and definitely not one this beautiful. But it was so realistic... it retained so many details from the memory that created it, he could almost fool himself into thinking he was actually there.

Almost.

“Is it always sunset in here?” Keith asked, not moving his gaze from where sky met sea. He'd been in here plenty of times, and the beach always looked the same. If not for the waves that reached out towards him before slowly receding again, he'd think this place was frozen in time.

But it sort of was, in a way.

“I could probably change it if I wanted to,” Lance spoke beside him, and Keith closed his eyes, listening to the sound of his voice. The difference was so subtle, and most people probably wouldn't have been able to detect one at all. But Keith heard it, just barely. “Or you could. But... I don't know. I think I like this better. It's more fitting. Caught right before the end, you know?”

Something like a smile, but not quite, passed over Keith's lips.

It disappeared just as quickly.

“I do think about changing it sometimes,” Lance admitted. “About letting the sunset finish. I kinda miss the stars. But I guess I've seen enough stars for one lifetime.”

Keith tried not to flinch when Lance said that, he really did.

_Lifetime_.

Seventeen years wasn't a lifetime. It wasn't anywhere near long enough.

“I'm sure we could figure out a way for you to come up to the bridge,” Keith suggested halfheartedly, even though he knew what the answer would be. “Plenty of stars to see from there. Real ones.”

“Thanks Keith, but you and I both know the others don't want to see me,” Lance said, with a sigh. “I should just stay in here. Besides, it... it wouldn't be the same.”

Keith opened his eyes and finally looked over at Lance, shattering the glass he had put between himself and this cold reality again. It got easier to do with each visit, even if the soft ocean breeze, dying light of the sun, and sand between his toes still _felt_ real.

He wondered if Lance could feel it.

Probably not.

That thought was getting easier to deal with, too.

Lance smiled at him, and the sight was _dazzling_.

The yellows, pinks, oranges, and purples of the simulated sky were just barely visible through his translucent body, all covered with the hologram's sheen of light blue.

Keith sucked in a breath. Yes, the sight really would've been wonderful, if it wasn't also so incredibly heart-breaking.

“Yeah, you're right,” Keith agreed, turning his gaze back towards the sunset. “It wouldn't be.”

 

* * *

 

Keith had lived through some pretty rough days over the course of his life.

The day his dad passed away, and the funeral that followed. The day the Kerberos mission was reported a failure. The day that he got kicked out of the Garrison. And so on, and so forth.

Out of all of them, the most recent worst day of his life was the day Lance McClain's ended.

And it started out so ordinary.

Lance didn't die in his lion, he didn't even die during a fight. He'd made it through each and every battle still breathing, despite numerous close calls. They all had.

And yet when he died, they were on their way to a diplomatic meeting with the leaders of a planet that were eager to join the Voltron Coalition. At least, they all had thought so. Instead, they'd walked right into an ambush. Lance wasn't even wearing his _armor_ , which probably would've saved him.

Looking back, Keith could see that their luck had made them careless. Stupid. Why think about small risks when you were risking everything, every day? They were drunk on success, and it had cost them dearly.

It had cost them _Lance_.

It made sense that eventually, they'd land on a planet that didn't want to be a part of the alliance. Eventually, the aliens they thought they could help would be hostile. But for some reason, they'd never considered it a possibility.

They'd never considered that the Galra could have allies, too.

The shot was meant for Allura, but of course Lance had pushed her out of the way. Once they activated their bayards it wasn't difficult to take the aliens down, but by that point it was already too late.

The memory was burned into Keith's mind. It was there, waiting to jump back to the front of his thoughts at every waking _moment_.

How Lance dropped like a stone, on the ground before he even knew what had happened.

How when Keith crouched beside him, panicking, there was blood everywhere already. He couldn't even tell where all of it was coming from.

How Keith took one look and _knew_ that they'd never make it back to the castle, to the healing pods, in time.

And how he'd lied to Lance anyway.

“It's okay,” Keith had said, pressing his hands to Lance's gushing wound. “You're going to be okay.” Because that's what you said when someone got hurt. He didn't know if he was trying to convince Lance or himself.

Lance was many things, but he was also decidedly not stupid, as much as he would have them believe it. He just smiled sadly, blood trailing out of the corner of his mouth.

Keith shook his head, and moved to pick Lance up. He had to get him out. “No, you're... you're going to be _fine_ , you can't—”

“Keith,” Lance said, his voice impossibly steady for someone bleeding out on the ground. His hand was steadier than Keith's too, as he placed it on his arm. “There's no time.”

Keith's eyes stung. “Yes there is, there has to be, _you_ have to be okay, you—”

“No, it's... it's fine,” Lance interrupted him again. “R-Really.”

Keith gaped. He had no idea what to say, except—

“It's not.” Because _nothing_ was. Why was Lance calmer about his own death than Keith?

Lance had the nerve to roll his eyes— sarcastic til the bitter end, apparently —but somehow kept his smile. “Yes, it i-is.”

“ _How_?”

Keith would later wish, a million times over, that he'd replied with more than these short answers. But he couldn't think over his panic, over the sound of the others screaming for the lions, for the castle, for something, _anything_ , while Keith tried and failed to stop the bleeding.

“B-Because I'll... I'll still be w-with you,” Lance said, and Keith didn't understand.

“Lance, what're you talking about? We have to get you back to—”

“Keith, _listen_ ,” Lance had insisted, and Keith looked up at him. Their eyes met. Lance was tearing up, too, but his eyes were determined. He had something to say. “My... my memories. You'll st-still... have them.”

It dawned on Keith then, what Lance was trying to say, and the sob escaped him without his permission. “I don't want just memories of you, Lance! I want _you_ to stay alive, to stay with us!”

“It's f-fine,” Lance said again. “Nothing's g-going to... to ch-change.”

How could he possibly believe that? “Without you there, _everything_ will change! Which is why you need to get back! Without you, who would—”

“Do _wh-what_ Keith?” Lance asked, and Keith was taken aback by his tone. “It's b-better like th-this. Better me than... than anyone e-else.”

Keith wanted to protest, wanted to erase that thought from the other's mind. Lance was their sharpshooter. Their supporter.

If they'd done just one thing differently, he might still be alive.

“I'll st-still be... be with you,” Lance promised, his eyes slipping shut. “Y-You'll have... I...”

But Keith would never learn what he would have, or what Lance was going to say. Because Lance's heart stopped there on the ground.

And even though they tried for hours, because of course they did, it didn't start beating again. Not with a pod, not with any Altean technology, not with the lions' magic, and not with Allura's alchemy. Lance was gone from this world, and he wasn't coming back.

The others asked him later, while they all sat around the pod they had put Lance... put the _body_ in, what he had said. What Lance's last words had been.

Keith told them, with eyes red from crying that stared at nothing.

They asked what he'd said to Lance in the other's final moments, and Keith couldn't tell them. Just weak protests and denial.

There were so many things he wished he could've told him. And it was too late.

 

* * *

 

It took Keith weeks to realize what Lance's last words to him had actually meant.

They'd had a funeral, and though Keith tried to insist it be on Earth with his family, the others hadn't wanted to wait that long. It seemed the entire universe had attended. The sky was lit with red and blue fireworks, a grand celebration just as they knew Lance would've wanted. A celebration of his life.

And somehow, it was all wrong. Nameless aliens mourned the loss of one of the paladins of Voltron, of a great hero, of the character they knew as 'lover boy.' Lance was so much more than that, though. And it made Keith angry.

After the funeral, the castle ship was much too quiet. _Everything_ was too quiet, and nothing was the same. It seemed they hadn't appreciated just how important Lance was until he was already gone. That made Keith angry, too. Angry at the others, but mostly at himself.

He took to skipping meals, and spending long hours on the training deck. When the others starting coming in to check on him there too often, and his heart grew too full of memories of Lance, Keith began wandering the halls of the castle alone, so he could be left with his thoughts.

He still stumbled on places that made his chest ache with remembering, but he knew he'd never be able to escape that. Every time he so much as looked at Voltron, he felt a stab of guilt.

He'd pass Lance's room every night, and one day he found that his feet had taken him outside the airlock, where he'd saved Lance's life what now seemed like years ago.

Keith hadn't saved him though, not really. Not in the end.

These aimless walks about the castle were what found Keith one day walking down the long hall full of memory chambers in the lower levels of the ship, the hall where they'd attempted to get information out of Sendak.

Keith remembered this, too. The way Lance had smiled wistfully and said without thinking, “When I go, I want all the information in my mind stored on a giant alien ship.”

The way Keith had snapped at him, insulted his intelligence. He regretted saying things like that now, now that he knew how little Lance valued his own life. At the time, it made sense. He'd been alarmed and confused at Lance's easy use of the word 'when', and he'd lashed out, because Lance _wouldn't_ die.

He wondered if Lance would brag that he'd been right. He wondered if—

Wait a minute.

“ _When I go out, I want all the information in my brain stored on a giant alien ship.”_

_“My memories. You'll still have them. I'll still be with you.”_

Lance wouldn't have... would he?

Keith was already running. He sprinted down the hall, scanning each and every containment unit for something, anything.

In his head, one word thrummed again and again like the beat of a drum, like the beat of his heart. Please. Please. _Please_.

He ran past empty chamber after empty chamber, desperation growing with every passing moment. Maybe Lance really had just meant that they could hold onto their thoughts of him. Maybe Keith was just grasping at false hope. But that was all he had left, so he kept running.

And then he stopped, near the end of the hall. And turned.

Keith's legs gave out, and he fell to his knees. Tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn't be sure of course but... but...

Within one of the containment units was the spiraling, glowing form of memories he'd seen when they had tried to interrogate Sendak. Except these ones were bright blue.

Every shade of blue Keith had ever seen. It reminded him of the sky, and the sea, and everything in between.

It was beautiful. And he sobbed.

Because he'd just found Lance.

He started over to it, crawling, unable to bring himself to his feet again. His entire body felt heavy with relief, and sorrow. Because even though Lance was dead, it seemed he wasn't truly gone after all.

Keith sat right beside it then, and his hands hovered at the containment units' sides. He wanted nothing more than to touch the cool surface, to see the blue glow light up his fingers. He wanted to be sure this wasn't a dream.

But he stopped himself. He didn't want to touch it, because he was so afraid that he'd mess it up. He couldn't read Altean, and he had no idea how this process worked. If he accidentally deleted Lance's memories, he'd never forgive himself.

Not that he had forgiven himself. But this was what Lance had wanted; he'd said so in his final moments, and he'd said so back then. Keith refused to screw this, at least, up.

And so he took one last, longing look at the memories— so close to him, and yet somehow so out of reach —before taking off again.

 

* * *

 

Allura hadn't even opened the door all the way when Keith started talking.

“Allura, it's Lance,” he said, words rushed as he tried to catch his breath. Her confused gaze immediately darkened at the words. “It's his—”

“Keith, stop,” she interrupted him, and Keith was so shocked at the ferocity in her voice that he did. He finally looked at her long enough to register that her normally neat bun was disheveled, hair sticking out every which way. Her blue eyes were red-rimmed, and puffy from crying. “I already told you, I'm keeping his body in stasis so that he can be buried on Earth with his family once we get there, but that's all I can do.”

Keith wanted to kick himself. He'd been avoiding all the others, acting as if Lance's death had hit him the hardest when he hadn't even _been_ here with them for ages. He knew Allura and Lance had gotten much closer, but he'd never thought...

He hadn't realized that she blamed herself for Lance's death, too.

But all the more reason why he _had_ to tell her what he'd found. “Allura—”

“ _Keith_ ,” she cut him off, and the sorrow in her voice surprised him again. “I've already told you, I can't bring him back. He was entirely gone before I got to him. I couldn't even feel his quintessence, so I couldn't bring it back to his body. He wasn't in his lion, so there was nowhere for it to be kept. It's _gone_ , Keith. Lance is gone. Please understand that even I cannot change that.”

Keith felt a stab of guilt. He had been rather unfair to Allura right after it happened, demanding she somehow bring Lance back to life even though he knew she couldn't. Miracles don't happen twice, and Lance avoided the clutches of death multiple times before it was finally permanent. He'd been unfair to everyone, though. Angry and inconsolable, despite not really having a right to be. Without Keith there, these kind of reckless, self-sacrificial behaviors had been glossed over. Nobody had taught Lance to take care of himself.

But maybe, if this meant what Keith thought it meant, he could try.

“It's not that,” Keith insisted. “It's Lance's memories. I think he saved them somehow, like Alfor did.”

Allura's hand, which had been clenched on the doorframe and ready to slam said door shut in Keith's face, fell to her side. Her voice, before stern, came out as a barely audible whisper. “...What?”

“I don't know how or why— but Lance's last words to me were to tell me it was okay. That nothing would change, that he'd still be here with us, because we had his _memories_. At first I thought he just meant we'd keep remembering him even after he was gone but... Allura, he meant it _literally_. It finally clicked in my head when I remembered something he said when we tried to get ahold of Sendak's memories and I checked... and...”

“And what?” Allura demanded, taking a step closer to him, hope shining in her eyes.

Keith met her gaze with his own determined one. “And one of the containment units has someone's memories in it.”

Allura seized Keith's hand in hers. “Show me.”

It didn't take long for them to get the containment unit up to the higher floors, considering Allura's super-human strength and the Castle of Lions' hover technology.

Keith had never been inside the memory-scape before, but he could see in Allura's eyes how familiar this was for her. She'd visited King Alfor's simulation countless times before they were forced to delete it.

She still missed him terribly.

And yet, here she stood in front of him, her fingers hovering over a holographic green button that Keith couldn't read. Even after all the pain this room had caused her, Allura returned to do this for him.

_No_ , Keith realized, taking in the tears welling up in her eyes. _She's doing this for Lance._

Before she activated it, however, she turned to Keith.

“I can't speak with him,” she said, and Keith didn't have time to be confused before she continued. “I... Lance reminded me too much of my father, even when he was alive. He piloted the same lion, he used the same sword... every day, as I watched Lance grow to be a great paladin, I watched him become the mirror image of Alfor. A great leader, but someone who would never take on that role when he could support someone else doing it. A valiant fighter, who would always put others' lives before his own. And who ultimately suffered for that selfless nature.”

Keith had to look at the ground when she said this. He felt tears welling up in his own eyes.

“I can't speak to him,” she repeated. “I can't speak to Lance, not this way. Not when it's my fault that he died in the first place. It's too familiar, and I don't want to let myself be forgiven for it by... by _this_.” She gestured at the room. “It's all too easy to forget that this isn't real. That it isn't _him_. In reality, Lance is dead. He's never coming back. I wanted to believe that this machine could keep my father alive, but I was wrong. I refuse to be sucked in like that again. You... you do know that, don't you?”

Keith nodded. “I know,” he said softly. “I know it's not going to be real. But it's what he wanted and I just... I just want to see him again. Please.”

Allura nodded back, and turned away from him. “Press the button,” she told him, as she walked out the door. “And good luck. I would not wish this path on anyone, but I know how hard it is to avoid venturing down.”

And with those words, she was gone. Keith was left alone— just him, the containment unit, and that glowing green button.

Maybe he should've hesitated, even just for a moment. But he didn't.

After pressing the button, the glowing blue lights in the containment unit— that they had moved to the center of the room and hooked up to a various number of wires —shimmered brightly for a moment. Then, in a flash of white, the room changed.

Keith was distracted momentarily by the landscape. The first time he ever saw a beach, and it had to be this way. Even so, it was beautiful. The waves lapped up on the sand, shimmering greens and blues so light he could see through them to the fish beneath. Out on the horizon, the sun looked to be sinking into the water, and it's fading light froze the sky in a myriad of brilliant colors that reflected back up from the ocean.

“Hey, Keith.”

His gaze snapped back to the middle of the room, and saw him.

Lance, with that irritating smile, standing across from him on the beach. The colors of his clothes were muted with the holographic blue sheen, and he was mostly transparent now, but it was undoubtedly him.

Keith could do nothing but stare, speechless, and Lance's smile dropped off his face. Keith already wanted to see it again.

“Hope you didn't miss me too much.”

 

* * *

 

It became sort of like an addiction to Keith. A new way to cope. He went to talk to Lance every single day. He knew Allura must've told the others, and so he avoided them as much as he could.

They could've visited Lance by now if they wanted to. Decidedly, they hadn't.

Keith knew it wasn't healthy. He knew Lance was dead, and he knew he should find some other way to cope. He knew it wasn't real... he _did_ know that. Remembering all those things was the hard part.

But he didn't care. Because it _felt_ real. It felt like he had Lance back.

On that first day, he hadn't known what to say. He wanted to know everything he hadn't ever bothered to ask, hadn't thought to. He wanted to _tell_ Lance everything he'd always thought he would have more time to. But he didn't know where to start, so he just asked the first thing he could think of.

“Why?”

“I know I probably should've told the rest of you,” Lance admitted, with his hands in his pockets. “But I knew that if you guys found out I had an 'in case I die' failsafe, you probably would've encouraged me that I didn't need one. When clearly, I did.”

He cracked a smile. Keith didn't laugh, so Lance cleared his throat and continued.

“I needed to have this here. I'm the most likely to make a mistake or... I guess I was. I guess I _did_. I always end up getting injured, and I felt a little stupid saving my memories, but now I'm glad that I did,” Lance told him. “I started saving them that day we went to the alternate reality. When Sven took that bullet for me. It would've hit me in the _head_ , Keith. I wasn't even wearing a helmet. I probably should've started sooner, considering how many times I'd nearly died before that, but... I guess that's when it really hit me. We were traveling into different _realities_ , and I realized that this whole thing is a hell of a lot bigger than any one of us. That I couldn't keep acting like I was invincible. And with Shiro gone... I didn't want to disappear like he had. Without a trace. And so I did this.”

“How often do... _did_ you update your memories?” Keith asked, his voice tight. He understood Lance's logic, he really did. He wished he could say he was wrong.

“After I came back here from every mission, following that one,” Lance said. “It kind of became a comfort to me. After every near-death, in the end I always ended up back at the castle, safe and sound. I used it to assure myself that I was still here, and that even if I ever wasn't, I still would be. I may not be _here_ here, but I'm still here for you. Does that make sense? I don't know if that makes sense.”

There was a lump in Keith's throat. He really was grateful for this AI. He still had so much to learn about Lance.

“It makes perfect sense,” Keith assured him, earning himself another one of those tentative smiles. One of those smiles that, he was beginning to realize, held so much hurt behind it. When had that started? Or had it always been this way?

“How did I die?” Lance asked suddenly, and Keith started. “I saved the memories after every mission, not before... the last thing I remember is the huge fight with Lotor. That we won. And that we're planning on heading to Earth.” Something painful passed over Lance's face, and he looked around at the simulated beach. “Huh. Almost made it to the real thing, after so long. Just my luck.”

Keith's chest _ached_. The planet they'd been ambushed on was supposed to be a pit stop, nothing more. Allura would meet the leaders, give them a communicator, shake a few hands, and then they'd be off once more on their way to their home planet. But it hadn't exactly worked out that way.

“The... the planet turned out to be hostile. Allies of the Galra, not their slaves. They worked together with Zarkon willingly. They tried to assassinate Allura, but you... you took the hit instead,” Keith said, struggling to get the words out. “You... you died in my arms. It took me weeks to realize your last words were telling me about the memories you'd saved on the ship. You kept saying that it was okay, that everything would be fine.”

“And it is,” Lance said brightly, and Keith's gaze snapped up in disbelief. “Everything's okay now.”

“Lance, what are you talking about?” Keith couldn't hell the incredulousness that seeped into his voice. “Of course it's not okay.”

“I'm back, aren't I?” Lance had the nerve to smile again. “I don't think I can pilot a lion like this, but we had six paladins anyway! As far as boosting morale and talking too much, I can still do those things. It's good that I was able to take that hit for Allura, because then we really would've lost her. But you didn't lose me. I'm an AI! So it's all good.”

“You're not _back_ ,” Keith snapped, beginning to get angry now. “And it's not 'all good.' We did lose you Lance. You're not back, you're still gone. You're dead.” Belatedly, Keith realized that it was much too blunt. Speaking the words hurt him, even though he was starting to not believe them himself, but he didn't even think about what they'd do to Lance.

Strangely enough, the former paladin didn't seem bothered by it at all, though the smile dropped from his face. He just shrugged. “Better me than any of you,” he said.

Keith left the simulator room pretty quickly, after that.

But he knew he'd be back before long.

 

* * *

 

It had only been a little over a week when Pidge and Hunk tried to talk to him.

Most of the team had kept to themselves lately, not just Keith. Everyone had their own ways of coping as they made the slow journey to Earth in the Castle Ship, and there was plenty of room for avoiding each other, even with the additions to the team.

Keith felt bad ignoring most of them, especially Shiro and Krolia but... it didn't stop him. Shiro was lost in his own grief, and Krolia had taken it upon herself to be the one with the level head. They'd both tried to talk to him a few times, but apparently had recognized that it was pointless.

As for Hunk and Pidge, neither of them had made any attempts at speaking to him. Or Lance, for that matter.

He knew they probably had more right to be grieving than he would ever have. Lance was _their_ best friend after all, their buddy at the Garrison. Oddly, though, they'd acted like their trio had turned into a duo since Keith came back, and he was left wondering what Lance had done to make them distance themselves.

Not that it was any of his business, of course. But the idea that Lance was lonely without him there did send a rush of confusing emotions through Keith. Namely, regret that he'd left at all.

However, one day when he went to get lunch he stumbled on both Pidge and Hunk while the two were talking quietly together and eating food goo, they did seem to want to strike up conversation.

That is to say, the elbowed each other several times before Hunk finally cleared his throat.

“Keith,” Hunk began, and his voice sounded just as wrecked as Keith had felt ever since the light behind Lance's eyes had gone out. “How're you holding up?”

“Fine,” he said shortly, resisting the impulse to scream in frustration at the cliche question, any answer to which was almost guaranteed to be a lie. “You two?”

“Better,” Hunk replied, with an awkward nod, proving Keith's point. The appearance of the two alone suggested that they'd both been spending a good portion of their time crying. “Where... where are you heading, with that? Do you want to stay and eat with us here?”

Keith already knew what he was getting at. When he spoke, it was through gritted teeth. “Actually, I was going to eat in the simulation room. With Lance.”

“Oh, come on,” Hunk tried for a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes, not quite. “Can't you stay and talk to us for a bit? It's been a while. I'm sure... Lance can wait a little?”

There was something in the way Hunk said 'Lance' that Keith didn't like. “Sorry, but I promised him yesterday I'd have lunch in there. He wants to be sure he's not missing any stunning new developments, food-wise,” Keith told them, lifting his own bowl of food goo in explanation.

Without warning, Pidge slammed her fist on the table. “You _know_ that's not Lance, don't you?" she demanded, fuming. “You have to know that.”

“It has all his memories,” Keith said stubbornly. He'd thought the same at first, but... every second he spent in that room, it got easier and easier to forget that Lance wasn't really back. In fact, he had begun to think that in a way, he actually was. Pidge scowled.

“It's a _program_. An AI. Do you even know what AI stands for, Keith? Artificial Intelligence, as in fake. As in not real,” she said, voice harsher than he'd ever heard it. “I don't care how advanced Altean tech is. That _thing_ is not Lance.”

Hunk hesitated. “Pidge...”

“No! Don't 'Pidge' me! You know it too, Hunk! You can't bring someone back from the dead! It's impossible; it goes against science completely,” she said. “Whatever you're talking to? It's some coded, predictable version of Lance, it's how the computer interprets him to be. It's not _him_.”

“How would you know?” Keith couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth. “It's not like either of you have bothered to go see him! You barely even talked to him when he was still alive!”

Pidge reeled back in shock, but Hunk's eyes went from anxious to angry.

“Don't you _dare_ ,” he seethed. “Don't you dare insinuate that I don't care about my best friend just because I won't talk to that... that _machine_. I cared about Lance more than anyone here, but I'm not going to ruin his memory by using some fake version of him to get over my grief, like you're doing. It's not healthy!”

“These _are_ his memories!” Keith protested, though he knew Hunk had a point. “This is what Lance wanted! He wanted to be able to talk to all of us, to see all of us, even after he was gone. He wanted us to still have him. It was the last thing he ever said to me— that we'd still have his memories. Why shouldn't I honor his wish?”

“Lance is an idiot!” Pidge pounded her fist on the table again. “He didn't know what he was getting into! He was under the false impression that it would actually be _him_ talking to us. But he was wrong. That's not how this works. It's not his soul, it's not his ghost, it's just the Castle's interpretation of Lance's memories and personality spat back out in ones and zeros.”

“Altean magic can bring humans back to life,” Keith said. “How do you know for sure Altean tech can't at least preserve this much?”

“Because that's not how it works!” Pidge was nearly shouting now, tears streaming down her cheeks. “He's _gone_! The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on. We all can.”

“I'm not going to stop talking to him,” Keith said, lifting his chin defiantly. “None of the rest of you will, but if you did he'd prove you wrong. I'm not giving up on Lance just because you two say I should.” He turned to go.

“You're not doing this for Lance,” Hunk said, disgusted, voice cruel. “You're doing this for yourself. And we all know it. You're just trying to make yourself feel better about the fact that you weren't there for him when he was still with us.”

He was right. While Keith did still believe that Lance was with them, in a way, he knew it couldn't possibly be exactly the same. There was no way any type of machine could capture the spontaneity and brilliance that was Lance McClain.

_Not exactly_ , Keith thought. _But this is the closest thing I've got._

And besides... as far as being there for Lance went...

“You're right. I wasn't there for him,” Keith admitted. “But honestly? None of us were. He was supporting all of _us_. And the least I can do is support him now, in this. Which is more than can be said about all of you.”

He didn't turn around to see their shocked faces. He just went to Lance.

 

* * *

 

Every time Keith visited, which was every day, Lance asked the same question. It wasn't an issue of forgetfulness. Thankfully the AI, or Lance, or whatever it was— Keith couldn't quite be sure anymore, and he also didn't quite care —remembered every conversation with him automatically. The only things Keith had to clue him in on were what happened from Lance saving his memories that final time after defeating Lotor to his death, to his memories being hooked up in this machine. Everything before and after that was perfectly intact.

Except for the others. Keith was the only one to visit Lance, and therefore the only one Lance knew directly about. Which was why the question he asked upon Keith's entry was always the same, and always stemmed from what at least appeared to be genuine concern and curiosity.

“How are the others?”

If this wasn't Lance at all, like the others thought, the AI did a pretty damn good job of capturing his tendency to think of everyone else first.

Keith always answered lightly, vaguely. About how much they missed him, about how busy they were with 'universe defending stuff,' about how he was sure they'd come to see him soon.

One day, however, Lance's question was different.

“None of them want to see me,” he asked, his voice suggesting he already knew the answer. “Do they?”

Keith grimaced, and sunk down onto the sand of the gorgeous Varadero beach. “No, they don't,” he answered truthfully, and Lance didn't look the least bit surprised. “They... they don't think that it's really you.”

“Well, I could've told them that,” Lance said. “I know it's not really me. But I still... I still feel like me. Like Lance. It's strange. I don't know.”

Keith was quiet. He knew, theoretically, that Lance had the power to leave this room if he wanted to. He could go talk to the others himself, explore the rest of the ship— and Keith had no doubt that he _did_ want to.

But he also knew that if the others didn't want to see him, then Lance would put them first. He always did.

“Why do _you_ come to see me, Keith?” Lance asked then. “I have to be honest, I would've thought you'd want to talk to me the least. That's how it was when I was alive, anyway.”

They both knew it was a stretch. They'd both gotten over the supposed 'rivalry' long ago. Although Keith supposed Lance had to wonder why he came in here every day. Keith didn't know himself.

Or he did. But he would just never admit that.

“I think that's why I'm here so often,” Keith said instead, deciding to give part of the truth. “To make up for lost time.”

Lance's face softened. “Well, I'm glad at least someone likes still having me around, even if it's surprising that it's you.”

“I always liked having you around,” Keith said quietly. He didn't know if Lance heard him. He didn't know if he wanted him to. “But... but I'm sure your family will be thrilled to talk to you again, too.”

Lance's smile was gone again. “My... my family?”

“Well... yeah,” Keith said. “I mean, we're still going to Earth. And your family will want to see you, no matter what form you're in. And you can show them all your memories, all your adventures! You can show them how much of a hero you were. They'll be so proud.”

“I guess,” Lance replied, half-heartedly, and Keith felt a twinge of guilt. It probably wasn't the reunion either Lance or his family had hoped to have. Maybe Keith shouldn't have brought them up at all.

He opened his mouth the apologize, but what he said instead was “Can you tell me about them?”

Lance's sadness gave way to surprise. “What?”

“Would you... would you mind telling me about your family?” Keith asked, wringing his hands.

Lance's expression turned confused. Guarded. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because I never thought to ask before,” Keith said. “Because I wish I had, I guess. Because you always speak of them with so much love, and I never had a big family like that. I don't know what that's like, but I want to. I want to know about _you_ , Lance, and your family seems to be a huge part of who you are. So, I want to know about them.”

Lance stared at him for a moment, and then laughed. A short, sad, broken sound. But there was joy in it, too. “When did you go and get all mature?”

An ironic question, coming from Lance. But what he said next nearly broke Keith's heart.

“Can't believe I'm missing _this_...”

“You're not missing anything,” Keith said firmly. “I'm still here.”

_Even if you aren't_ hung unspoken between them.

Lance sighed, and launched into story after story about his family. As he described them, the memories played around them.

Lance and his three siblings chased each other in circles around the beach as children, and trampled over each others' sand castles.

They taught him how to surf, and his dad taught him how to play guitar. Lance would sing with his mother in a mixture of Spanish and English in their living room.

She taught Lance how to cook, how to put other people's feelings first. She was a lot like him, and Keith could see that.

His grandmother taught him to knit. _The Tailor_ , Keith thought absentmindedly, and smiled.

Lance and his siblings would gather their allowance from chores together and gorge themselves on garlic knots at the pizza shack, and then ignore the adults' demands that they wait a half hour before they run back into the ocean.

When they got a little older, they'd sneak onto the beach at night. They didn't dare go into the ocean because they always told scary stories about sharks, but they would always lay on the sand together, and stare up at the stars.

“I want to be a pilot,” Lance said in a whisper on one of these nights. “I want to be up there, with the stars.”

He'd gotten exactly what he wanted.

Keith watched all of Lance's family members support his dream, even as they all grew up, as some came and some went.

He watched them all celebrate when Lance opened his acceptance letter, with a big party that eventually left their house and moved onto the beach. Lance told anyone who would listen and anyone who wouldn't that “I'm going to be a pilot!” He yelled it into the sky, with a fist pumped high in the air.

Keith almost wished he could go back and change it, in some cruel back corner of his mind. Maybe he'd never have met Lance, and Lance would've never gotten to see space. He never would've been a pilot, never would've seen his greatest wish come to pass and with it more than he'd ever imagined. But at least he'd still be alive.

When Lance finished the stories, the simulator room went dark, instead of returning to that beach. Maybe Lance didn't want to see it empty.

Keith was grateful for the dim. He couldn't stop himself from crying.

 

* * *

 

Shiro, Krolia, and Coran tried a more organized approach with their intervention, in that they were waiting outside the door to the simulator room one day when Keith tried to go inside.

Allura hadn't mentioned it to him since that first day when she set it up, and Romelle was hovering a ways down the hall anxiously, looking like she wanted to talk to him too.

Keith knew what was coming before they even spoke. So he crossed his arms, and didn't let them begin the conversation. “Excuse me, can you three move out of my way?”

Shiro and Coran both hesitated at the tone of voice, so Krolia took initiative.

“Keith,” she began softly. “This has to stop. Please, just take a break from going to talk to him.”

“I don't see why I should,” Keith snapped, already on the defensive. “What exactly do all of you have against it?”

“It's not good for you, Keith,” Shiro said, almost pleading. “You're spending all of your time in there, talking to a machine! You haven't allowed yourself to move on because you're in denial, and you think that Lance is actually back.”

“You came back from the dead, Shiro,” Keith pointed out. “How is it so impossible?”

“Because this technology was made to keep _memories_ alive,” Coran spoke up. “Not people. I for one, was always against it. I never talked to Alfor in that state, because I knew it wasn't real, and that it would just distract me. I watched Allura grow dependent on him... on _it_ for advice and comfort. When she had to delete the AI, it nearly destroyed her. I can't bear to see the same thing happen again.”

“Lance's AI could just as easily be compromised,” Shiro added. “Lance would never turn against us, but now he can be programmed to do _anything_. I don't want you to rely on something that won't always be there for you.”

Keith understood where they were coming from, he really did. But they didn't understand _him_.

“Shiro, we're defenders of the universe. I can't count on any of you to always be there for me. Hell, _you_ disappeared, and the Galra used you against us, but now you're back. Lance is back too! He found a way to be with us, even if he's not,” Keith told them, then shook his head. “How is that a bad thing?”

“Because Lance isn't still _alive_ ," Shiro said,  and Keith sucked in a breath. “We both came back from death, sure, but it's not the same. Like you said, we're defenders of the universe. Lance's part in that fight is over. You can't afford to get distracted just because—”

“ _Distracted_?!” Keith echoed, unable to believe what he'd just heard. “You're calling Lance a distraction now?”

Coran winced. “Keith, you know that's not what he—”

“No, that's exactly what he meant!” Keith cut him off. “Because that's all you care about, isn't it, Shiro? The fight against the Galra? You don't care about Lance! Unlike you, I'm not going to forget about him so quickly!”

Shiro frowned. “Keith, that's hardly fair,” he said. “I miss him, too—”

“Do you?” Keith asked sarcastically. “Because you sure as hell don't act like it! You _never_ appreciated his input, you never cared about Lance's feelings. Maybe if you'd actually talked to him about how little he thought he was worth while I was gone, he never would've thrown himself in front of that shot!”

Shiro looked shocked, and Keith _knew_ he really wasn't being fair. He shouldn't fault Shiro for the things his clone had done. But still...

Coran placed a hand on Keith's shoulder and he jumped, but didn't push away. “We all cared about him, lad,” he said, with a grim smile. “We all miss him, and we're not saying you have to stop talking to him this way. But it's important you think of yourself, too.”

“I know that after one loss, you may want to stop fighting,” Krolia said softly. “But if you _don't_ keep fighting, then you'll just lose more people. Lance wouldn't have wanted this for you. He'd want you to continue on, so his death wasn't in vain. He wouldn't want you to surrender to grief and denial.”

“What would _you_ know about what he'd want?” Keith asked softly. “You barely even knew him. What would _any_ of you know? He _told_ me that this was what he wanted, that he wanted us to have his memories, and he wouldn't want all of you to just pretend he no longer exists! I know what he wants, because _I'm_ the one that held him when he was dying!” He was yelling now. He could see Romelle staring down the hall from the corner of his eye. He didn't care. “So don't any of you _dare_ try and tell me what he would want.”

They all stood there in stunned silence for a moment.

Coran's voice was choked up. “I may not have known him as long, but I still cared about Lance a great deal, and—”

_You couldn't possibly have cared about him as much as I did. I don't think even_ he _knew how much. I don't know if_ I _did._

Shiro could barely string a sentence together. “Lance is my teammate, too. If he ever felt under appreciated, then he should've said something to me about—”

_Lance is just that selfless, though. He'd never bother anyone else with his insecurities. He tried to come to me with it once, and I was too blind to see._

_“_ I know you and this Lance had grown close,” Krolia said, and her casual tone made Keith want to sob. “You're paladins, teammates, working together towards a common goal. Friendship is inevitable. I know how you feel. I've lost many of my comrades in the Blade of—”

“If you had the chance to talk to dad again,” Keith interrupted, his voice impossibly soft. “You would, wouldn't you?”

Her eyes went wide. “This isn't like that,” she replied, even as understanding crossed over her face. “Unless... Keith, did you— ?”

“Please,” Keith spoke again, and he didn't care how pitiful he sounded. “Just get out of my way.”

They moved from in front of the doorway after that, and slowly walked down the hall. If they tried to apologize to or console him while they left, Keith didn't hear them. He was too busy concentrating on not falling apart.

But once the three of them were out of earshot, Keith broke down. He sunk onto his knees in front of the door to the simulator room, descending into sobs for everything he'd lost, everything he could've had. For _Lance_.

A soft tap landed on his shoulder, and Keith couldn't be bothered to respond. Dimly, he realized that Romelle was standing above him, the space wolf gathered in her arms as if he weighed nothing. She set him on the floor beside Keith, then sat down on his other side.

“Have you come to make your disapproval known, too?” Keith asked, not caring how hysterical he sounded.

Romelle shook her head. “I know you probably wanted to be left alone, but... you allowed me to get revenge on Lotor for my people. I owe you and Krolia everything. And I at least owe you this.”

Keith turned to look at her.

“I think you should keep talking to him, if it makes you happy,” Romelle said quietly, and Keith was sure he must've misheard her.

“...What?”

“I never got to know your Lance very well,” she admitted, and Keith's breath hitched, but he didn't correct her. _My Lance_. “But the small number of conversations I did have with him, he was always kind. Once, I mentioned my brother Bandor. He told me he had siblings back in the land of Cuba, and how he'd never recover if something were to happen to any of them. He told me he was sorry, and that he would always be there to listen if I wanted to talk about it. Or anything, really.”

Through the tears, Keith smiled. That sounded just like him.

“And... I wish every _day_ that I could have the chance to talk to Bandor, or any of my friends who were stolen from me by Lotor and his treacherous experiments, one last time,” she told him. “I would give anything to have access even to just their memories, even for a short while. I know that if I were in your place, I too would never want to leave that room. You have your Lance back, or at least a piece of him. Don't throw it away just because the others say you should.”

She stood up and turned to go, but before she could leave Keith grabbed her hand. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Romelle smiled, and tilted her head in the direction of the room. "Go. Be with the one you love.”

He didn't need to be told twice.

 

* * *

 

A few days later, Keith walked into the simulator room to find it surprisingly not looking like Veradero Beach for the first time. The room simply appeared as it really was— with grey, featureless metal walls and the containment unit full of Lance's memories in the middle.

Keith almost asked why Lance had changed it when he realized with horror that Lance's holographic hand was hovering over a red button in the air beside the containment unit that he'd never seen before. As little as he understood Altean, Keith still had a pretty good idea of what that would do.

He ran forward, a hand outstretched to stop Lance that just ended up phasing through the former paladin's body. But at least it got him to turn around.

Lance was crying. Or... at least his AI was. Keith wasn't really sure anymore.

_No, it's Lance,_ he told himself. _Machines can't cry. This is Lance._

“What happened?! What's wrong?”

“Did you know that I can't actually delete my own memories?” Lance asked miserably, instead of answering the question. “I should've known, since Allura had to delete Alfor's... but I guess I forgot. I wish I could.”

“What... why would you try to delete yourself?!” Keith demanded, as Lance tapped the screen beside the red button and it disappeared. The familiar beach didn't return, however. They were still in space.

“Because it's what's best for everyone,” Lance said, and he sounded so sure that it broke Keith's heart. “It... it was selfish of me to do this, to push this version of myself onto you. You're better off without me, just like before. But I also knew that you'd never delete my AI, even if I asked.”

“Of course I wouldn't,” Keith said softly. How could Lance actually believe all of that? A thought occurred to him to then, and Keith felt a cold sort of anger set in over the initial fear. “Lance. What made you think all of that? The others, they didn't—”

“No, no, they still haven't come to see me once,” Lance waved him off, but his voice was so bitter that it was hardly comforting. “They didn't need to. _That_ says enough. And even if it didn't... I heard them.”

“...What?”

“Krolia. Coran. Shiro. I could hear them outside the room, the other day.”

“Oh, Lance,” Keith whispered. “Don't listen to them, they're—”

“They're _right_!” Lance sobbed. “They're all right! I'm not him! I... I feel like him, and I may think I'm him, but I'm not! As much as you want me to be, as much as _I_ want to be, it's not the same! I'm not Lance!”

Keith shook his head, and took a step towards him again. “Did you hear what Romelle said? She agrees with me! It may not be... it may not be all of you, it may not be exactly the same, but this AI came from your memories. It's at least _part_ of the real you. Why shouldn't we hold onto that?!”

“Because Lance is gone, Keith!” Lance sounded close to hysterics now. “He's not coming back! Holding onto... _whatever_ I am now isn't going to change that, which is something we both need to accept. The others already have. And I agree with them—  you should just get rid of me. Delete my AI. Saving these memories was a terrible mistake; all of you would be better off without them. Then maybe you could actually move on!”

“I... there is no way in _hell_ I'm ever going to delete those memories, and I'm not going to let anyone else do it, either,” Keith said, voice firm. “I'm not going to get rid of the last piece of you just because you think we don't need you now, Lance! Do you have any idea how lost we are without you? We can barely accomplish anything without you there to hold us all together. We haven't formed Voltron, not once.” Keith paused, and when he spoke again, it was softer. “Do you know how close I came to falling apart, after I lost someone else? After I watched you die? This last piece of you is all I have.”

“Which is exactly why you need to let it go, Keith,” Lance replied, just as quietly. “Move _on_. The others are right, it's not healthy. You'll never get closure if you keep coming in here like this.”

“How can you even _say_ that?!” Keith demanded, getting angry again. “I need you, we all need you! The others may be too stubborn to admit it, but if they let themselves come talk you, then they would see it! Your _family_ needs you, Lance! Did you ever think of that?! When we get back to Earth, they're going to need to see this, to see _you_! To reminisce, at the very least. Your family means everything to you. Would you really deny them that?!”

“I've been trying to convince myself that I've been able to help you through things, but I've realized that I'm only just making them worse,” Lance said. “It'd be the same with my family. Maybe... maybe it's better if they just talk to all of you, and reminisce with all of you. You can tell them everything I did; it shouldn't be me. Not when I'm like this. I can't face them like this.”

“...Like what?”

“Like _this_! A robot, a machine, a system programmed to act like the person they loved so much and that loved them. It's not real, any of it! They don't deserve that!” he cried. “They deserve to have Lance back. All of him. And I can't... I can't give that to them.”

“Maybe you're right,” Keith said. “Maybe your family wouldn't want to see you this way. But shouldn't we still give them that _choice_? I'm not going to delete you. It's shouldn't be my decision to make, but frankly I don't think it's yours either. Maybe your family would hate that you decided to do this, or maybe they'd see it as I do; a way to keep you alive. A way to keep your memories alive. Isn't that what you wanted it to be?”

“Of course! But _this_ is not what I wanted!” Lance said. “I didn't want this to happen! I didn't want you to depend on me, to treat me like I deserve your time, like I deserve anything at all! I can't just stand by and watch you throw away your life for some shell of the person I used to be!”

“I'm not throwing my life away!” Keith insisted. “I'm holding onto _your_ life! I spend my time in here because I want to, because I want to remember you. I don't want to take you for granted like I did when you were still alive, I want to hold on! I wish the others would stop seeing it as something horrible and unhealthy! And now you see it that way too? _Why_?!”

“That's just it Keith! Because you holding on is unhealthy, when none of this is real! When I'm not him! This... this AI, this... _me_. I'm not even sure what I am, but I'm not something to depend on when I could just as easily be programmed to be Lance as to turn my back on you! I changed my mind! I want to be remembered, I want to be here for all of you, yes, but not like this! Because it's not m— it's not _Lance_ , not anymore.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

“Why?! Why do you insist on having faith in me, in this, when it'll only hurt you?!”

“Because I'm in love with you, you idiot!” Keith shouted, and then froze, his hands going up to cover his mouth.

“You're... you... what?”

“I'm... I'm in love with him,” Keith said, voice soft. “Or at least... I was. I fell in love with Lance, and then he was _gone_ , and then...” Keith trailed off. Shrugged. “You weren't.”

Lance was silent for so long that Keith thought maybe he'd somehow glitched the program by telling it something it couldn't understand.

“I'm... I'm sorry,” Keith muttered, and turned to go. “I shouldn't have told you that. That's not the only reason, but I— I should go.”

“Wait.”

Keith stopped walking, but he didn't turn back around. He couldn't. He'd finally said it, but not how he imagined.

He could hardly imagine confessing at all. And he'd never imagined that Lance would die before he could. Keith already regretted saying it. He wished he could take it back. What was Lance supposed to say?

Before Keith could consider all the horrible responses, Lance spoke.

“He loved you too, you know,” he said, which made Keith whirl around, finally. There was a faint smile on Lance's face now. “He did. And if you're right about all this being real in some way... then I did, too. Or... do. I don't know.”

Keith shook his head slowly, because that... there was no way. “You're... you're just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Keith, of course I love you,” Lance told him, with a small shrug. “I mean, how could I not?”

“No, you're— you're just saying that,” Keith said. “And... maybe you think you do, but you haven't talked to anyone else in ages! The real Lance didn't... he wouldn't... but you're...”

He trailed off. Maybe this wasn't really Lance, after all. Not in any way. Because there was no _way_ that... it just didn't make sense.

But Lance was still wearing that foolish, half-smile, as if he knew something Keith didn't. He looked so smug, and yet... somehow his eyes were sad.

And for a second, Keith wondered if maybe it was the truth.

“Do you want me to show you?” Lance asked then, holding out a hand.

Keith hesitated, but of course he took it. How could he not, with Lance looking at him like that?

The metal walls of the room fell away, but they didn't give way to the beach of Lance's childhood. This time, Keith found himself standing in the familiar halls of the Garrison.

Just like before, Lance's memories played around them like a scene from a movie, as they both stood and watched.

Except this time, it was Lance's memories of Keith. And even if he had trouble believing it... there was no denying how Lance had seen him. How he'd _loved_ him. It may not have been in everything he did, but Keith could see it in everything he thought.

But Lance never said a thing. Neither of them had.

Lance had been talking to Hunk about all the cute girls he might meet at the Garrison when he'd seen Keith for the first time, and his words died on his lips.

Lance watched him from afar, and was ecstatic when they got put on the same team for the simulator. He wanted to try and talk to Keith, to befriend him... but Keith didn't seem to want any friends.

Lance fell behind while Keith edged ahead, and he grew resentful at how much better then other was at _everything_. He created a rivalry in his head, turned everything into a competition, while Keith remained indifferent. Keith never so much as noticed him, which only infuriated Lance more.

When Keith left the Garrison, Lance put on a smile and bragged about getting to be a fighter pilot, instead of acknowledging that he missed him.

And when he saw Keith again, that day they saved Shiro, he tried to shove down the swell of emotions in his chest and buried them all with hatred.

Slowly but surely, though, the affection came back. Stronger this time. And Lance realized it was much more than just wanting to be friends.

Keith held Lance's hand and smiled that soft smile when Lance told him they were a good team. He carried Lance to the healing pods, concerned about his wellbeing all the way, but Lance had never felt happier.

Keith saved Lance's lion when Nyma took it. He saved Lance's _life_ , when he nearly got sucked out of the air lock.

He saved Lance's life a lot of times, after that.

When they had to climb up that elevator shaft, Lance was grateful they did it back to back, or Keith would've noticed how badly he was blushing.

When Shiro was gone, Keith was a mess, and Lance took it upon himself to make him feel better. He swallowed his pride and his own ambitions in favor of supporting Keith, and became the best right hand the others could've asked for.

He saved Keith's life a few times, too. They saved each other.

He went to Keith with his insecurities, and of course Keith had never even _considered_ that Lance should step down.

But then Keith left. And Lance asked him who he would make fun of, a smile on his faces. But when he was alone, he cried.

Keith watched, with a slowly breaking heart, the memories he hadn't been there for. He watched Lance grow apart from all the other paladins, watched him get less close with Pidge and Hunk, and get yelled at by Shiro.

He watched his feelings for Allura grow into something real, only for Lance to force himself to move on when it became clear that she was interested in Lotor.

And then Keith had come back, and Lance had been so, so screwed as everything he thought he'd forced away came back up to the surface.

He fell for Keith over and over again. And... and then he just fell.

The memories stopped, and the room froze on a memory of them all returning to the castle after taking down Lotor. They were and laughing, victorious.

It was the last one in the containment unit, after Lance's final save.

“Do you see now?” Lance asked. He wasn't smiling anymore. “He... I loved you, too. I think I have, for a while. It just took me a long time to realize it myself.”

Keith had sunk onto his knees, unable to stop the sobs wracking his body. If only...  if only they hadn't gone to that last planet. If only Lance hadn't taken that hit. If only he were still alive.

But they had, and he did, and he wasn't, and so Keith _cried_. Lance had loved him. And whether this AI was part of him or not, he'd died without knowing Keith loved him back.

Lance knelt on the floor in front of him. He tried to place his hands on Keith's shoulder, and they phased through. But he didn't drop them. Instead, he let his hands just hover over him, and then brought his forehead close to Keith's.

Almost touching, but not quite. No matter how close they were, they couldn't actually make contact.

No matter how much they both might have wanted to.

It wasn't enough, but it was all they had.

 

* * *

 

The following day, Keith ventured back down to that dark hall, full of empty containment units. Romelle went with him— he knew the others wouldn't approve, but she could read Altean.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, as he stepped into one of the pods. “You don't have to.”

“I want to,” Keith promised, and she simply nodded and pressed a few buttons. As he watched, the containment unit beside his pod filled up with red lights. They blinked and glowed— connected to each other. His memories.

He stepped after the pod once the lights stopped appearing.

“It worked,” Romelle said. “Your memories— everything up until this point in time —have been saved.”

Keith nodded, and they both began the walk back to the upper levels of the castle.

He had no intention of dying any time soon, but for when he did... he wanted to do this for Lance.

He wanted to save a part of himself, too, so that they could always be together. To make sure that they'd never have to leave each other again.


End file.
